Cambridge University Light Entertainment Society- Presidential Notes 1999/2000
Another year in CULES’ history, yet another set of notes by yet another president. But these ones are good, honestly. The aim of these notes are to add to the CULES history and give future presidents some hints and tips, so they don’t make the same mistakes Let me do things chronologically. I’ll try to skim over the first couple of years, as they’ve already been covered by previous presidents.
1997-1998
I came into CULES on a friend’s recommendation- Andrea Beckett, actually; despite this recommendation she still remains a very good friend. My first play was the 1997 Pantomime, “Prince Gareth and the Baba Yaga”, an entertaining romp. It couldn’t have been more fun- Alex Marthews directing a play he had written himself with his girlfriend (now wife), and an extremely dodgy but entirely appropriate script.
It was actually a very talented cast- Penny Sarginson, still involved with CULES some five years later, also in her debut, who was a lot quieter than she is now- truly we have corrupted her and this can only be a good thing. Matt Wilkinson, who took the lead for several years in every single major Cambridge musical. And Liam Hetherington, a real CULES trooper, his Northern accent totally incomprehensible when drunk. In fact, and let’s be honest, totally incomprehensible at any time whatsoever.
The plot is unimportant, suffice it to say it involve me putting on a dodgy red two-piece “bikini” and becoming Pamela Anderson in a plot to trap the hero (Prince Gareth); it certainly wasn’t the first time I would cross dress. The kids loved it (the play that is, not the cross dressing).
Foolishly, I came back the next term to play Lady Markby in Oscar Wilde’s “An Ideal Husband”. I can honestly say that was the most professional production CULES did in my three years with them. Apart, of course, from Alex Marthews. It wasn’t his fault though- for one reason or another he came into the cast at short notice, doing his presidential duty when some shirker dropped out. He knew about a third of his lines, and did extremely well. The play went down a storm with the students, and more of a damp drizzle with the old dears- they had forgotten to advertise and there were, I believe, 4 in the audience when we did the play at Ditchburn Place. We clashed with Coronation street, and after all, you’ve got to get your priorities straight. (To be honest, I’m not sure which were the better actors. CULES or Corrie; close one!) Alex Owen, with assistance from Andrea, was fantastic as a director, and is now adding her considerable skills to “The Tweenies” and other exciting projects in the World of Television.
There wasn’t a revue in 1998, it just never happened. But never mind, the summer play, Robin Hood, again written, directing, and this time starring Alex Marthews. Fantastic fun- Newnham Gardens, I don’t remember it raining a spot, although it no doubt did. Some of the worst puns ever told, and we got away with them without major loss of limb. I was Nigel, or Brian, I can’t remember which, an idiotic guard duo, with Kevin Fisk the other half of the duo. A memory of this play involves us all petitioning Alex (Robin) never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, to wear tights again.
1998-1999
It was hinted at that I might like to be president this year- however, it being my third year, and being under the misapprehension that I should do some work, I thought I’d better turn it down- so Kevin Fisk, returning for his 4th year as a modern linguist had a fantastic year as president and that was in fact a much better choice. After all, Kevin had been on Countdown!
I’d always wanted to direct, so I did - “A Wizard of Oz”. What a production that was! (Even if I do say so myself) Emily was the most perfect Dorothy imaginable, Kevin’s script was great, and there was some real chemistry between the cast- everyone tried to snog the Wizard (Ed Genocchio) right the way through the play and up unto to the cast party! I could talk for hours about that, but it’s been said elsewhere, so I won’t.
The Lent term saw first the 1999 Revue, “Handling the Big Jets”. Mike Tildesley more or less did it all himself, and it was very good indeed- some people didn’t like it, but then it’s very boring when comedy appeals to everyone. I personally thought it was fantastic.
I might dwell here a little to say something that really worked for CULES. We decided to have a kind of cabaret bar effect. We used Pembroke New Cellars, designated an area as the stage, had some jazz sung, and set up the tables to give a much nicer atmosphere, with tablecloths and candles on each one. People sat around in groups, chatted, had a drink, and had a much better time than they would have done with a proscenium arch style show. And, of course, the drinks “sold” contributed to the total profits, which went to Comic Relief. It was a fantastic success, and should definitely be tried again.
Later in Lent, Kevin took on the director’s mantle again, and directed “Charley’s Aunt”. A superb cast again made for another stunning lent term play- I played the small role of Brassett, the butler, although he was a bit more paedophilic under my interpretation than Brandon Thomas might have intended. Kevin’s talked about that elsewhere, so I’ll move on.
In a final blitz, we managed to put on two events almost concurrently. The first was the summer Clements’ Production of “Three Musketeers”. This was an amazingly good production, with a ridiculously long script… there wasn’t much really cuttable, to be fair, but it went on for about three hours. It was fun, rushing around dressed up as a musketeer, with a big swordy thing, and we actually choreographed some realistic swordfights. The cast even looked appropriately scared. We were! I, in a superior bit of casting, was cast as Porthos, the fat one. Oh well.
It was Rachel Wellman’s CULES debut, and she was a welcome new face- she managed most of the props from her own wardrobe, I think. It was good to have an enthusiastic new face- many in the cast were having their last hurrah in CULES, before moving on to greener pastures. I was in a semi-delirious state, having just narrowly survived my finals after a serious bike crash made me lose my memory, so the whole summer was interesting.
Univision happened on Suicide Sunday. In case you don’t know, it was a Cambridge version of the Eurovision Song Contest, with bands from colleges taking the part of countries. The details are in the Univision folder, curiously enough.
Let me just comment on the mixed feelings about this- not amongst the bands, who thoroughly enjoyed themselves, or the audience, those who I spoke to thinking the music was fantastic, but amongst whether it was the right direction to go in. There were those that thought CULES was too small, without enough ambition, and should go for big plays, bright lights, large audiences, in an effort to get back to CULES glory days when it was as well known as the footlights, and there were those that thought we should stick to what we do best- entertaining those less fortunate, and making a bit of money for charity if we can.
I can see both points of views- on the one hand, if we do try to be too big, there’s a danger we’ll attract the thesps, become just another acting society, and lose track of one of CULES aims- to take theatre to those that can’t normally see it. On the other hand, by thinking big with Univision we produced something stunning, raised the best part of £1000, and there’s now a room in a house in Africa somewhere (I think) where kids who’ve lost there parents to wars are living. And it’s apparently got a little plaque saying “CULES did this”, which makes me very proud to have been but a small part of it.
I would say to future presidents be careful. If you’re doing it for fame and fortune, don’t bother. There’s nothing wrong with being ambitious; what if Caesar himself had no ambition? If you can hold true to the charitable aims of CULES, not get yourself too stressed by biting off too much and ceasing to enjoy it, then by all means think big (and, what’s more, you’ll be a man, my son).
Univision worked exceptionally well, although the compéres must be scripted next time, so they don’t try and tell the “Sherlock Holmes and the Watermelon” joke to the vice-chancellor (the punchline is “Melon entry, my dear Watson!”). There’s not enough of that kind of thing in Cambridge, and could be done again now quite easily if the people were there. I tried to do so in 2000, but couldn’t find enough people with enough time to organise it. There’s a whole folder with all the info in, so you can peruse that at your leisure.
1999-2000
Staying in Cambridge for an extra bonus year to do a Computer Science diploma, I thought I had enough time to be CULES President, and, there being no other willing candidate, I was. It kind of works like that. I’ll try to be a bit more verbose for this year as I was nominally meant to have my finger on the pulse of what was going on….
The pantomime we chose to do was “Peter Pan”. It was typical CULES chaos- we barely had a script a couple of weeks before the first night. Catriona MacKay wrote a truly marvellous script, I put in some jokes, and we were away.
Becca Royce was marvellous- she organised all the touring performances, and sorted out the last minute performances when I had to go away for a few days just before the off. Helen and Marnie appeared on the scene for this production- and they were a total godsend.
Of course, I wanted to be the dame- Tinkerbell. Overall the play went really well. The production wasn’t as polished artistically as Wizard of Oz, but the kids loved it. One thing that’s very important is to make sure the kids can join in the pantomime. Asking each kid up on stage doesn’t work so well, especially with some of the difficulties the handicapped kids have, but getting them to sing along or boo at the right moments really keeps them interested. The other great thing about panto is that you can strike it at any level- let people improvise if they feel like it, especially for the students. Add extra sex scenes for the students. Invent strange cross dressing relationships between Tinkerbell and Peter Pan (it gets a laugh). Everyone loves a panto! Do not let Catriona snog you on stage. She uses tongues.
What next? Well, the lent term was the busiest CULES term since records began, with three plays, all very ambitious. One of these was the Jungle Book, the first “musical” in a long time (although if I hear another chorus of the Bare necessities, I’ll scream). This was fantastic for the kids- Rachel directed, and organised the whole thing fabulously. It managed to make a huge profit as well, playing to a full house in Benson Hall, Magdalene, when I went to see it.
This production is exactly what CULES is about, and many of the people in it are now or have been, I hope, CULES stalwarts as they enjoyed it so much- Charlotte Aaron, the 2000-2001 president, amongst them.
We then tried a new concept. A double bill. The concept was that we’d get people to both performances with a discount, although only about a dozen people did that. It’s probably not worth the hassle repeating- organising one show per night is a nightmare, two was like waking up having got drunk and pulled Jeremy Beadle.
We managed to use Newnham old Labs, which looks very professional, has a full lighting and sound rig, and is free. Well worth using again, although you have to have an extra person to do the lights if you want to do it properly.
The first show was Blithe Spirit by Noel Coward, which I directed. I’d seen “Bittersweet” at the ADC, and loved it, and thought that Noel Coward was on just the right kind of level for the CULES Easter show (Oscar Wilde is overdone in Cambridge, not that he’s not fabulous too!) .It was a very ambitious show, and due to Catriona going off to Greece, I had to once again play the woman, Madame Arcati, the strange mystic. This actually worked well, and I think people now expect drag roles in every CULES show. But who are we to disappoint?
The cast was a bit thespy- I probably cast the play too much on ability and not on likelihood to stay with CULES and enjoy the more amateur feel. But it’s difficult to cast- we had about 50 (yes, fifty!) people auditioning for Blithe Spirit and Jungle book combined, as we’d wangled a free advert in Varsity on the main audition weekend (by Rachel promising to sleep with the Editor, or similar). It was very tough!
The play was a total success- the old people at Haverfield particularly liked it, as did the Saint Raphael Club. The audience for the student performances was disappointing, maybe 50 over three nights. This was probably due to the well known fact about Cambridge drama that, unless you’re at the ADC or the playhouse or somewhere big and pretentious, only your friends come and see you, and the cast was but 6. However, as the props list was minimal (another great reason for early 20th Century plays) we still made a good profit.
The second performance in the Double Bill was the 2000 Revue, Jars all Round on the Frenchman in the Corner directed by David Chaplin, who is, in the nicest possible way, stark raving mad. Personally, I didn’t think it went down too well, but the cast and crew all tried extremely hard, and I think for a lot of them it was there first proper show. I know that some of them have gone on to do many more comedic things. I helped a little with the production, and did a cameo as the announcer (six performances in three nights- beat that!). It was an amazing success with audience numbers and money- I think some 200 quid to Imperial Cancer. They are all wannabe comedians, so you never know, they might go far. It continues the CULES tradition of getting someone else to do a revue, not putting any time into it, and sending a load of money to charity, though!
My final CULES play was Wind-in-the-Willows. To be honest, a lot of this didn’t go as planned, mainly due to the weather. Audiences were lacklustre (again because of the weather), so it was a bit of a damp squib for me to end my CULES career. We were able to reuse an old script done in 1996, which was a faboulous, fabulous script,(by James Needham, I believe) and didn’t need much modification. Charlotte Aaron directed extremely well, as a sort of preparation for her presidency the next year.
Summary and advice
My involvement with CULES was a fantastic three years, and a major part of my university life.
Firstly, it is a great privilege to have been involved with something extremely worthwhile, and to have made a lot of people extremely happy to have seen the performances. My most enduring memory of many in this regard is of an extremely small, disabled boy at the performance of “Prince Gareth and the Baba Yaga” at, I believe, Green Hedges School. After we had finished, and were packing up props and suchlike, he shyly came up to us, and asked whether he might hug the princess- of course we let him! The smile on his face is something that I will always remember, and even in the darkest hours of that frantic 2 hour pre-performance script rewrite because the star has ended up with Scarlet Fever, this is the reason we are doing it and what makes it all worthwhile. It’s also what makes CULES special- the people that do it (or that do it more than once!) and not doing so because they’re looking for fame or fortune, they’re doing it because it’s fun.
It’s because, I think, of this motivation, that the people I met and became friends with through CULES are exceptional, and a lot of them I’m still very close to today. I hope that all those that do it now and in the future will share this luck.
There are so many anecdotes, and so many happy memories of this period, and this isn’t the time and the place to display them, but here’s my advice for all future presidents and any other CULES members in the future. You can, or course, take it or leave it as you see fit:
· Make sure that you continue to keep a lot of first years involved. CULES nearly died more than once due to the fact that everyone involved left Cambridge at once, and that we really didn’t spend enough time drumming up support amongst the first years. Get them involved with directing and producing the plays- catch ‘em while they’re young. Get them drunk if necessary.
· Don’t be afraid to be ambitious- you can produce something that’s actually a very good production as well as fitting in to the aims of CULES. The best plays I did were the ones that were actually very good plays, as well as being very good CULES plays.
· Ambitious does not mean expensive. If you can get away without spending money, then do it. Change that line!
· Delegate. Otherwise the president gets very stressed. Get as many people involved as possible. Do two plays if you have too many interested for one. Don’t spend too much time on CULES that your studies suffer.
· Get money from the University. There’s huge funds run from the societies syndicate (and probably college funs) that go unallocated every year. Apply for them regularly. Spend them on the big stuff you wouldn’t normally that can be used in future. Donate everything else to charideee.
· Play around with the format, if you like- there’s plenty that CULES could do except for the standard “play, play, revue, play” sequence that would fit in with the Ethos.
· Always, always, always, and never forget this, have fun!
Ben Parker
CULES President 1999-2000
